Hard as it may be, you’ve got to remember to take care of your own needs -- especially if you are a caregiver. Common caregiver ailments include headaches, insomnia, backaches, loss or gain of appetite, fatigue, chronic crying, anxiety attacks, depression, and stress. One ill spouse/partner is enough. You need to watch your diet, your own health and get enough sleep.

Sometimes you’ll need to take a break from your role as caregiver. Even an hour spent doing something for yourself, like going to the gym, meeting with friends, shopping, or playing a sport will help you cope and enable you to have more energy when you step back into your role as caregiver. Sports and exercise can be excellent stress reducers.

As your spouse/partner moves through his cancer experience, he may be exploring the more spiritual side of his personality. You may want to join in this pursuit. Prayer and meditation are helpful for many people faced with a loved one’s serious illness. Studies have shown that spirituality and prayer may reduce stress.

Don’t deprive yourself of things you need to do for yourself. Otherwise, you could end up becoming resentful of your spouse/partner. You may need the support of other individuals who share your circumstances. You may need to talk with a counselor. Your job is to find ways of remaining steady in this challenging time.

Be honest. Have that open discussion with your spouse/partner about how your lives have changed. Perhaps your spouse/partner is very sick and can very possibly die. It’s scary to face these kinds of issues. You will have to confront your own fears. Perhaps you won’t be able to have children or more children together. What does this mean for your relationship? Share your fears. Raise the issues. Get them out into the open. Usually couples find that this kind of sharing brings them much closer together.

If you are hurting, share that hurt. You can cry. You don’t have to keep a “stiff upper lip.” If you need support, it’s out there.

Also, try to remember to maintain some sense of humor. And don’t feel guilty if you find yourself laughing. Laughter, too, is a stress reliever. Laughter can be the most helpful and healing medicine. Your spouse/partner could use it too.